Death's love story
by Fate4Destiny
Summary: Ukitake x oc/ reader. A crush turns into a relationship over the most bitterest turns of fate. *includes Kaien's death.
1. Chapter 1

**So this does involve Kaien's eventual death. Ukitake x oc/ reader ^^**

"Ah!"

I felt the papers fly out of my arms as I tripped over something I could swear wasn't there before. Instead of hitting the hard ground I expected, I was caught. My heart thudded in fear and anticipation of hitting the ground. Hands placed themselves on my back and arms wrapped around my waist. My head was now buried into someone's chest and I heard a concerned voice speak.

"Are you okay? That's not the first time I've seen you fall."

The voice was sincere and I looked up into chocolate colored eyes. When my body finally began to work for me I gave a small nod, unable to form words as I stared at the white haired captain.

I was his fourth seat for years now, and in the first year I was head over heels for him. As time progressed I controlled my feelings, knowing I could never be his. And Kaien would remind me of that every time he found me in a love struck state.

"I- I'm fine. Thank you for catching me."

"No problem."

He gave a small chuckle as he softly sat me on the ground. He then helped me collect the papers. He placed them next to me and tilted his head slightly.

"I'd stay to help some more, but I'm going to be late for a meeting. I'll make it up to you."

Before I could say he didn't have to he was already gone. And I believe that was the closest I ever got to him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ah hah, my old favorite is jealous of the new girl."

Kaien gave his trademark smile as he walked to me across the training ground. He had just witnessed me watching Rukia's training.

"Hmm, I'm not jealous of that. The captain sure lets her hang around him, doesn't he? And she didn't take any entrance exams... Is she that good or am I that bad?"

Kaien watched Rukia for a moment before ruffling my hair.

"I trained you since you were a child. You can be a captain one day, just wait and see. Fourth seat is amazing regardless of who your captains plays favorite with or how many prodigies come in. You have your talents, and you have to trust them to bring you up to the height you want to go."

"Your words of wisdom are always appreciated, but will anybody ever answer with a yes or no?"

"Hmm, if you beat me at a fight, I'll answer one yes or no question sincerely."

"Deal."

I quickly unsheathed my zanpakoutō and Kaien followed the act. We soon clashed them against the others and I found my feet slipping backwards.

"Ha, somebody hasn't been practicing."

"I've been practicing. You're just bigger than me."

"Not a valid excuse."

I gave a small pout then let him win our match of strength. His blade went down and I quickly leaped to the side. He raised his zanpakoutō and slashed at me again. I managed to keep myself up from darting around. I finally managed to land myself behind him and I cut his back.

"Good hit."

I sheathed my zanpakoutō and then pressed a hand against the gash. It was deeper then I wanted it to he and blood flowed from it quite freely. I bit my lower lip and Kaien began telling me not to bother with it.

After a few moments I felt a warm hand go above mine and softly move it away. The hands then pressed against Kaien's wounds and it slowly stopped bleeding and healed.

"You'll have to go to the fourth for the rest."

The voice was familiar and I looked sideways to see Ukitake. I quickly pulled my bloody hands away and took a step back. I bowed my head as they spoke some and it ended in both of them laughing. I felt a hand ruffle my hair and Kaien then spoke again.

"She's getting good. First one out of this division to lay a cut on me."

"She's quite skilled in trickery, I'll give her that. Don't encourage it too much, I'd prefer her to be able to handle herself in tighter situations."

I felt a warm finger go on the bottom of my chin and my head was tilted upwards. I looked up at Ukitake who gave me a small smile.

"You're getting better each day. But I don't have any higher positions for you, sorry. You don't have to prove that you deserve them. I know that fully well. You're an amazing shinigami."

With a comforting smile Ukitake slipped his hand away. He then left, waving to us before he vanished from our views.

"So... Don't expect to be able to cut me again!"

Kaien sounded energetic and I ducked to dodge the sharp blade.

"Oh, I'm expecting it."

I gave a small laugh as Kaien engaged me in another fight. Even if Ukitake wouldn't have any special emotions for me, I was happy. My captain was always kind and understanding, Kaien was already there and was my mentor and friend. I never wanted any of it to change. But nothing can stay the same forever.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the middle of night when I heard someone slam open their door. I sat up quickly in my bed and then opened my door to see who made so much noise. In the shadows I saw someone hunched over and sobbing. Someone else was trying to comfort them. I was about to close the door to leave them alone but I heard one of them speak.

"I- I loved her so much, captain. How can she be gone?"

Each word was drowning in sorrow, loud sobs breaking out in between it all. I recognized Kaien's voice and slowly stepped into the hall. I then ran to Kaien and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him clutch me close as he sat down against the wall, unable to continue standing. He sobbed into my shoulder and began shaking slightly. I ran a hand over his back to calm him. His sobs stopped slightly but his breathing was still fiercely shaking.

Someone else wrapped their arms around us and I looked through the faint light let in by windows that it was our captain. He held both me and Kaien close, but I hardly focused on that. I was so worried for Kaien, each of his tears broke my heart.

"Mi- Miyako!"

Kaien screamed the name of his wife out into my shoulder and I didn't know what to do. Ukitake began murmuring soothingly and I found it calming to both Kaien and me.

Kaien clutched at me and continued to sob like a child who was revoked of his most precious item. His cries weren't showing signs of stopping and I felt Ukitake rest his head on my other shoulder. Ukitake gave a strained cough over my body and I was about to ask if he was alright but he merely sent a sad glance at Kaien. I began whispering to Kaien that it would be alright as Ukitake slowly coughed into my shoulder. Both men held me and I tried to soothe both of them at once. I began stroking Ukitake's back like what I was doing with Kaien to calm him.

After minutes slowly faded to an hour Kaien's voice was strained and his tears were running dry for the moment. As Kaien hiccuped Ukitake moved his head from my shoulder and slowly got to his feet. He had stopped coughing a long time ago, but wouldn't move his head away from my shoulder. Nor did I stop stroking his back.

Ukitake got to his feet and I felt him pull Kaien away from me. He brought Kaien to the proper room and when he came out he put a finger to his lips.

"He's sleeping. As you should be."

I muffled a yawn which I felt guilty for even having. I felt Ukitake pick me up to bring me to my feet. I gave another yawn as he brought me to my room. He pulled the blanket on my bed back and I slipped in. He placed it over me and I closed my eyes, tired and feeling emotionally worn out. I was dead asleep as I felt his hand softly trace down my cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, time to wake up. Hello~!"

"I'll be up in five."

I rolled over in my blankets before remembering what had happened the night before. I then quickly got out of bed and tugged on my uniform and ran a brush through my hair before tying it all back, not finding time to do much else with it.

I came out of my room to find Rukia. Not the person I expected.

"Kuchiki-san, did someone tell you to wake me?"

"Ukitake-taichou and Shiba-fukutaichou and I were going on a mission. They told me to tell you that you were in charge, and that they needed someone they could trust in charge."

"Oh... What mission?"

"Hunting a hollow."

"That requires both of them? Hmm,"

I moved past Rukia and then went to Ukitake's office. He wasn't in and I soon found him and Kaien outside.

"Fukutaichou!"

I shouted out to him and he looked backwards at me. He gave me a smile but it was forced, his eyes glistening in tears with something harder outlining it. Rage. It was the first time I saw it in him and it made me stay a few steps back.

"Yes?"

"Don't do something stupid. Come back alive. Both of you. That's all I have to say."

I gave a small bow then felt someone hug me to their chest. I recognized Kaien and I softly closed my eyes in his grip. He then began whispering in my ear.

"I can't keep that promise. I'm willing to die to avenge her. I'll do my very best, and I'll make sure your crush comes back to you. But understand I will take stupid risks this time."

"Kaien, don't you dare. Killing it won't bring her back."

"That's what Ukitake-taichou said. I don't expect you to understand. So keep your head up. You're our rock in this ocean of storms. Besides, you know my beliefs about the heart."

"If you die, I won't be there."

"Don't let that affect you. I'll come back, I always do."

Kaien slipped away from me and I sadly nodded.

"Don't let the kid die."

"Of course not. You just worry about the paperwork."

Kaien gave me a smile as he began walking away. Ukitake cast me a parting look before also moving away.

"Wait! Kaien!"

His words scared me and he turned to face me once more. The distance between us caused us to somewhat shout.

"What is it?"

"My yes or no answer."

"Hmm... If you'll ever be with the man you love... Yes."

Kaien gave a smile and I returned it. I noticed Ukitake looking slightly shocked, but his hair was blowing over his face from the wind so I couldn't be too sure. I watched him use flash step and with a hurried wave Kaien chased after him. I was left standing in the wind, shaking away the fear Kaien had implanted in my mind. They would come back, they always did.


	5. Chapter 5

I finished the second pile of paperwork and gave a small sigh, glancing out the window again. Nobody. I was waiting until they came back, and Kaien's words made me so jumpy I was going to make him pay for it when he came back. I was doing Miyako's and Kaien's paperwork. There was only two days for each, they usually staid on top of it all. But Miyako was now dead, and as much as it may be unmoral to replace her so quickly, even informally, the paperwork had to get done. Just so everyone else wouldn't have to deal with it. Kaien had been too upset to work and I didn't mind also doing his. At least it was something to do.

I finished a few more sheets and then looked around. I was done. I stared at the empty desk in disbelief. That hardly ever happened. I flexed my hand which was sore from too much writing and rubbed my head lightly with the other to soothe a growing headache. I worked too hard, too fast. I glanced at the clock and realized it was late evening. What was taking them all so long?

I was about to leave and ask around when the door slowly opened. I saw Ukitake and I was about to welcome him back before I saw his eyes. They were coated from tears, his face stern and he looked much older than usual.

"Taichou? Are you sick-?"

I was cut off my him holding his hand out to me. I slowly got up and took it. He led me down a hall and I noticed his steps shook slightly. A million horrible thoughts raced through my head as he staid silent, leading me away.

We passed out of the thirteenth division and before I could say ask where we were going he scooped me up in his arms.

"Taichou?"

My voice wavered and I felt him use flash step. I was then put down and I looked to see what I recognized to be the Shiba household.

"Is Kaien inside?"

Ukitake gave a small nod, tears welling in his eyes.

"Can I see him?"

Once again Ukitake nodded and I couldn't take that expression anymore. I wrapped my arms around him and wiped his tears away. His voice broke into soft sobs which he tried to hold back.

"I- I'm sorry. I should have helped him. I should have... If you want to blame anybody, blame me. I deserve it."

"Taichou, I could never."

I cradled the man's upper body as he slowly did an act I was too stunned to comment on. He took off his captain's haori and let the wind carry it.

"Taichou, what-?"

"I let my lieutenant die. I let Rukia almost die. All because I was too weak."

"Don't say things like that."

I slowly brought Ukitake to the ground and he fell onto the grass without a word. He then curled up slightly and his breathing fall heavier as he tried to control his tears.

I don't know why I didn't cry, but Kaien's words stuck in my mind. That I was the rock. Someone had to be the voice of reason, and that was what brought me to chase down my captain's haori. It was blowing easily through the wind and I finally got it by pouncing on it. I held it tightly in my hands as I went to Ukitake. I wrapped the haori around him then sat next to him. His attempts to stop crying led him to coughing, which also made blood stain his lips and I noticed his hands were dripping in it. I pulled him close to me then placed his head in my lap. He froze in shock and I ran a hand through his hair. He caught it and held it close as he shifted to hide his face from me. He was like Kaien in that way. They hid all emotions which could never be the ones of a leader. Every weakness was one they kept cloaked as best as they could.

I felt Ukitake shake slightly and I softly rubbed the top of his head with the hand he wasn't holding. He continued to cry but it slowly stopped. He sniffled for awhile and then arched himself into my hand. I gave a small smile despite the circumstances and twirled a strand of his hair. It always somehow staid in place and never got knotted, despite the strong winds that happened the past few days.

"Taichou, it's not your fault. He said he would be willing to die today. I think he wanted to do it all alone, you can't blame yourself."

"He may have had a bruised ego, but I would have brought your boyfriend back."

"Taichou-"

"I know what he said. He was confessing his love, wasn't he? Before we left?"

"No, he wasn't."

I made Ukitake face me and I looked into his eyes. He stared at me through tear stained eyes and I shook my head.

"He's not the one I love. He was like a brother to me."

"You don't have to keep it a secret from me because he was married."

"Men are so stupid."

I said it harshly and Ukitake looked shocked at my tone of voice.

"I love you, taichou. Which is why he's always saying I'll never fall in love and be happy. Because I can't be with you."

I began crying myself and I felt his warm hand cup my chin.

"Always me? Every time I hear you two talk about your love life, when you go on in rants to your other friends, always me?"

"Yes."

"Why did you never tell me? You could have. Even if I didn't like you back, I would have let you down easy and you could have moved on... Tell me honestly. I need to hear it from your mouth."

"T- taichou, I love you. And I have since I first met you."

Ukitake slowly lifted himself then pressed his lips against mine.

"Keep this quiet for now. We'll talk about it after the pain ends."

Ukitake's kiss was short and soft, his words murmured into my mouth. His mouth tasted like blood and he pulled away way too soon for me to even kiss back.

"You don't have to be strong for us. You can fall weak. Especially if I am."

I shook my head at his words, feeling him sit up properly. He stood up and slipped on his haori properly. That must have been the worst confession in the entire world, soul or living.

"I promised Kaien I wouldn't. You should get some rest."

I stood up and felt him hold my wrist.

"I- I need to stay for awhile. To say goodbye."

Ukitake gave a somber nod and let go of my wrist. I then turned and walked into the building.


	6. Chapter 6

A blanket covered his body, and I couldn't bring myself to pull it away. I went to my knees and cried, whimpering about how much I needed him back. My feelings all spilled out, how he was my friend and teacher, how I looked up to him.

Eventually my body shook too fiercely for me to sit properly. Just as I was about to hit the ground I was picked up. I clutched the body with trembling hands, trying to stop crying, but tears still ran down my face.

My eyes were too blurry with tears and I felt them use flash step. The next thing I knew was I had been partially undressed and slipped into a silk sleeping robe. I was laid down on pillows as soft blankets were lightly placed over me.


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up sun poured through the curtains. I blinked then turned into the pillow. I usually woke up to darkness...

Turning back to the light I saw I wasn't in my room. This one was much larger, and I looked at myself quickly. I was wearing a loose robe in a silky black with white accents, and it wasn't mine. It was tied loosely around my waist but showed off my legs from me turning too often in my sleep or such. It fell off one shoulder, and I pulled it back into place. I then slowly got to my feet. Grabbing a blanket and throwing it over my shoulders, I clutched it closely to my chest. I began trying to figure out where I was, but soon found out. I noticed a shelf lined with pictures. From Ukitake, Unohana, Shunsui, and Kaien, some with Miyako. It was obvious I somehow ended up in Ukitake's room.

Opening a door I looked into a kitchen to find Ukitake setting some things on a plate. I let the blanket fall as I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my head into his back.

"Taichou, good morning."

"Sleep well?"

I felt him turn around and soft lips brushed against my forehead.

"Perfectly. Thank you for letting me spend the night here."

"Nnn, don't mention it. I made you some food. You should eat. I spoke to a few people and they said you haven't eaten in the past few days. You'll get sick that way."

"And when was the last time you ate?"

There was no response so I lightly pulled him into kneeling beside me at the traditional Japanese style table. I turned to face him, grabbing the plate in one hand. I held a vegetable with chopsticks then held it out to Ukitaks's mouth.

"You have to eat."

Ukitaks shook his head.

"I'm not that hungry. I really don't feel like eating. It's my illness to, not everything else..."

"I know. I researched it a few years back. But you still should eat."

Ukitake eventually parted his lips with no sounds coming out. I slipped in the chopsticks and he bite the food, letting me pull the chopsticks away. He slowly and bitterly chewed his food, finally swallowing.

"Good job. Was that so hard?"

In response to my baby voice he gave a small pout. I softly put a hand against his cheek, feeling his head rest on it.

"I don't want to do this. But I want to call this our first date. Because I'm not sure if I'll ever get another with you. So remember this one, okay?"

I gave a nod, bringing my head closer to his. I pressed my lips to his, and he opened his mouth, giving a small moan. He slipped his tongue into mine, and I threaded my hands through his soft hair. He licked the insides of my mouth, mapping out each contour. I gave my own moan as he began to softly nibble on my lower lip. I tilted my head away from his teeth then sunk my mouth back on his for a proper kiss. He brought his own hands to behind my neck, playing with strands of my hair. He kissed me deeply, as if he'd never see me again, but it was slow and controlled. Almost chaste, but with the deeper passions showing through.

He kissed me a lot more deeply for a moment, then pulled his head away. I softly panted as I took in a breath of air.

"I'm sorry for being so forward."

I shook my head quickly, catching his hand as it slipped away from my body.

"No. It's okay. It was amazing, actually."

I watched Ukitake give a smile, and he held my hand back.

"I hate to ruin the mood, I truly do. But, I was thinking, and the kiss had nothing to do with changing your opinion on the matter, but how would you like to be my temporary lieutenant? I say temporary because you're a few years off in skills yet, but, you know, you'll be there soon. You may keep the position, or someone may become stronger than you and earn it. And now I'm talking too much... In any case, I want you at the very least to keep being my fourth seat. I need you in my division, I need you close. For work and personal reasons now. I- I can't love you right now. Not with Kaien gone. But I promise you I will soon."

Ukitake bowed his head, stands falling over his eyes. I slowly cupped his chin and made him look me in the eye.

"I'm always going to be around you, regardless of what happens between us. I'll take the position of lieutenant until you find someone permanent or better than me. And I'll keep my love solely for you. And I'll wait for as long as it takes you to love someone again. And I'll be by your side that entire time. How does that sound?"

"Perfect."

Ukitake bowed his head and kissed the palm of my hand. He then slowly laid light kisses on my wrist and lower arm. He crawled closer and kissed up the rest of my arm. I gave a drunken smile as he moved to my shoulder. He kissed me over the robe I had on until he got to more skin. This time it was on my lower neck. He ran the same soft kisses up, and I gave a content moan. He traced up my jawline, running over my forehead then went straight done. I gave a small smile as he kissed the tip of my nose. I expected him to kiss my lips to, but instead he gave me a quick lick on them. I was dumbfounded as his lips trailed down my neck. I faintly wondered when he would stop, and soon got my answer. He rested the top of his head against my shoulder, his lips drifted off from the bottom of my neck, unwilling to go any further.

He then mumbled in my ear, and I found myself entranced by it.

"Too far?"

"No, not at all."

Ukitake brought his head up, his lips going to kiss me again. I laughed it off and pushed him away.

"No. I'm a lieutenant now, that means I get to make some rules, right?"

"Not with me. I'm still a captain."

"I know. But this is my idea. Every bite of food you take, you get a kiss. Anywhere you please."

Ukitake gave a teased moan before taking a bite of food. He quickly ate it and turned back to me. He laid a single kiss on my cheek. He was instantly pushed away after it. With his eyes on me, he ate two pieces of food. He then leaned towards me again to see if his experiment would work. I allowed him two kisses before he was pushed away.

He then gave a smile before continuing his act, laying three kisses on my forehead. He still continued experimenting with what I would allow. His soft hands cradled me against him, tracing up and down my arms as he kissed each one. He began to give me such long kisses I thought he would never stop. Time seemed to fade as he traced his tongue over me, which I let him count as half a kiss. This seemed to become the better deal for him, and he began licking my showing skin. Hands rubbed my lower back, his tongue dancing across my neck, his body so close to mine. I moaned in pleasure, legs wrapping around his waist.

After what seemed like hours he finished eating. He then took one kiss from my lips as a victory kiss.

"Hmm, you're all sticky now. Want to take a shower?"

His face was purely innocent and I wanted to laugh and slap him at once. I simply kissed his cheek.

"Now you are to. Care to join me?"

"Need you ask?"

My lips matched his quickly after that, ending our conversation. He smiled into them like a drunken fool, one I falling even harder in love with.


End file.
